If you’ve ever read my About ME page you’ll now that I don’t have coeliac disease. I do have something else with a nice, big name and I do have, ummmmmm, symptoms when I consume gluten or lactose. Yeh, you know the ones. But still I can’t bring myself to lie if I’m asked whether I am a coeliac sufferer after I mention gluten. Even when I see the flicker of recognition in someone’s eyes and I know it would be easier (for me, in that moment). I’m getting really good at saying, “actually no, I have Non-Coeliac Gluten Sensitivity” and then I smile. A lot. And it’s a long, official sounding phrase so it has the ring of something proper (which I know it is, really, even if it’s not actually written in my medical notes). And then I feel guilty! Like I’m not authentic enough and all the effort people go to, to make or even just bring me the right food, is for a fraud. I’m certainly not downplaying the seriousness of coeliac disease – you guys definitely have it extremely tough and I am truly thankful I don’t have to deal with that. I also know that a lot of people avoid gluten and dairy, and all sorts of other things, for a host of other reasons that are completely valid without having coeliac disease. Really there’s no such thing as a ‘fad’ because everyone who changes their diet is doing it because they think it will help them in some way. No one reasonable would ask a vegetarian to eat a steak, and neither would they ask a vegan to eat a chunk of cheese. I’ve committed to this change of eating habits but those around me aren’t always so on board, but then it’s early days. I feel a bit like the newly vegetarian teenager whose parents think it is a phase they’ll grow out off when they announce they’re never eating meat again… So, when I won’t use the same hand with which I touched my daughter’s wheat roll, to eat my nice, safe, gluten-free one there may be a raised eyebrow. There might also be one when I won’t drink that cup of tea mistakenly made with ‘normal’ milk even though it’s a ‘waste’. Life is too short to fight all of the battles, especially with anyone likely to never understand, so I’m all for passive-aggressive actions within the safety of your own home. Enjoy this cocktail in the knowledge you are quietly thumbing your nose at those who don’t understand you and remember that eyebrow of theirs will be the first bit of them to go really wrinkly. Enjoy responsibly!
Raised eyebrow (a cocktail)
Raise your eyebrow at me?! Yeh, because I’m gluten-free for a laugh…
Makes 1 glass
Best served in a martini glass while wearing fabulous shoes
- 50ml Belvedere Citrus vodka (or other lemony vodka)
- 25ml dry vermouth
- 50ml cranberry juice
- 25ml lemon juice
If you’re feeling fancy coat the rim of the glass with sugar and set to one side.* Using a cocktail shaker or other suitable container, add several cubes of ice, measure in the ingredients, close the lid and shake for 30 seconds or so before straining the liquid into your martini glass. Garnish with a curl of lemon zest.
*shake some sugar onto a plate as wide as the top of your glass, run the cut lemon you’re going to be squeezing for the cocktail around the edge to wet it, then dip the glass rim in the sugar.